Mosaic Project

So... how does one begin this Mosaic project. Well first off it probably doesn't help to begin to compare yourself to others. Especially when you have the likes of Felicity White or Josh Smith to compare yourself too. However because I didn't start with this comparison of others : ) I can confidently move forward with this creative idea. I can move forward because I think the concept is that the success comes from the doing rather than the eventual project. Will I make millions from my book probably not but I hope to achieve the same success that the creative farmers had and that is a legacy to give to my children. It is the joy of doing and the ability to do it. Well here it goes I will try to accomplish coming up with the background to a novel.

Thank You

As I was sitting in our very first youth group meeting I was thinking of the people who had helped me on the journey to that chair I was sitting in. I thought of the great circle discussions I had with my Father in law. I remembered the counsel I received from my Pastor through the years of growing up. I remember the love I received from from a wise Doctor and his wonderful wife in those moments I felt like giving up. I remembered not to long ago my journey to sonship that my two fathers in Wyoming led me on. All of this led me to that moment sitting on a chair ministering to a room full of youth.

I am entirely grateful to all of them and the many others who have helped me become the man I am today. I hardly do everything perfect and there is much room to grow but I am content with the place I am in right now. The place of helping to rebuild a youth group and watch young people grow in God. The place where I am able to lead and love my wife the way God intended. The place of great joy as I watch my children grow and learn.

Several years ago I would have never have thought all of this possible. I had given up and resorted to my own frustrations. I had allowed myself to be stuck in between a rock and a hard place. In this time even though it was not what my leaders believed to be the best they allowed me to take a journey to find out who I was and more importantly who God was. Even though they were worried and didn't think it was the greatest decision they allowed me to take their daughter, grandchild, friend, and niece on my much needed spiritual journey.

So I send a thank you to all of my leaders because in that journey God taught me what it was meant to be a son. What it meant to love and work hard. To never give up when the getting was tough. To always be open to God and love Him like a son. With the help of great leaders and friends God taught me how to trust, how to believe, and how to be content with who God made me.

Now I have the privilege of helping young people journey into finding out what being a son or daughter really is. It's a great responsibility and so to those who have meant so much I credit you and God with allowing me to be the leader God intended.

Ezra 2:62-63 (Are your papers in order?)

"62 These searched for their family records, but they could not find them and so were excluded from the priesthood as unclean. 63 The governor ordered them not to eat any of the most sacred food until there was a priest ministering with the Urim and Thummim."

I read this verse the other day and it caught me by surprise. I happen to not thoroughly enjoy reading lists of names, however, there are times such as this, where a long list of names can hold a golden nugget. What I gleaned from this passage was the importance of family and heritage.

In history it was very important to know who you were, where you came from and who your relatives where. This was not because it was a fad or something cool to do; it was because to know these things was life or death. This is exemplified in these verses I quote. These Jewish families were unable to find their family records and present them before the Priests so they were excluded from being part of the priesthood. Their identity and what their identity stood for was ripped away from them. They could no longer make a living from the heritage that was passed on from father to son for generations. They were no longer able to usher others into the presence of God. In a horrifying way they were now husks of their former self. Until they could present their lineage before the Priests they were no longer deemed clean.

It hasn't changed since then to present day. If you think about it we as Christians will have to present our lineage before the King of Kings one day. In that moment our very souls will be held in the balance. For some of us, we will search for our papers and unfortunately not find them and in the end be cast out. Others will be able to proudly present their lineage with God as their patriarch and Jesus their brother.

I hope to have all my papers in order.

Dope!!!

Sometimes I wonder why I do the things I do. Most of the time on reflecting about the day I immediately refer to my dope! moments. The moments in which you can only imagine what you did had to be created by some cartoonist who is mocking your life. I wish I never had those moments but I do. I remember the time when me and my wife were courting and she blatantly stated that if I happened to embarrass her she would be forced to walk away and leave me to the mercy of my stupidity. (a tad bit dramatic but you get the point) I love my wife and I can laugh at this because I know she probably would be right there in my embarrassment proudly cheering me on.

However, most people have a hard time with dope moments. They are eager to enjoy your dope! moments but forget so readily their dope! moments. I am not suggesting only a few do it but I can guess 100% of people would rather enjoy other peoples dope! moments (youtube) rather than our own. Maybe we should evaluate ourselves and do what God does in our dope! moments.

I know for a fact that God never runs from your dope! moment. That He remains faithful even if the dope! is a biggey. I wonder if we could learn to be more open and considerate in each others dope! moments how much of an impact it wold have n our relationships. When I can enjoy my own dope! moments just as much as I can laugh and help others in their dope! moments than it might make us better Christians and a better family.

Intersections

Yesterday a thought popped into my head about intersection. The intersection I was thinking of was the intersection between heaven and earth. I thought about how many instances I have felt in my own life the intersections of heaven and earth. The instances that I have felt heaven part oh so slightly in order for me to partake in it's wonders. I might not have a physics doctorate to tell you the p's and q's of such a statement but I can tell you that what I say is the truth.

I love rainy days. For some reason it gives a wonderful feeling of renewal and refreshing. Most rainy days I find myself a tad bit closer to heaven throughout the day because for some reason in that moment I can touch heaven that much easier. Your probably laughing right now but I bet if you thought about your own life you might have something just as crazy that God allows heaven to intersect with your life. I bet that looking throughout your day there is many instances of God intersecting with yours.

All I know is that I want more intersections in my life.

August Rush

August Rush is perhaps one of my favorite movies. It is a story that resonates accross society in the many boys and girls that turn their circumstances around and become an inspiration to others. For me it makes me think of my own journey.
My journey has been far from the Hollywood rendition yet it has it's same moments of pain and triumph. (without the glittering lights) I remember growing up and believing in my heart of hearts that my biological parents were a king and queen who were desperately searching for their long lost son. I remember the lonely nights sitting in my dorm room thinking of my past and where I came from. I remember the nights of intense pain, wanting life to end, wondering who could ever love me. The hollywood ending never happened but something far more wonderful happened. I became true royalty, an adopted son when I met my true Father. He reminded me of how He had been there since the beginning. How He had guided my steps and carried through the storms of pain and abandonment. He reminded me of how He gave me a loving family with a wonderful mother and father. How He in my utter rebellion placed me on a path that I could find spiritual redemption and become the man I am today.
He also reminded me that even though everything wasn't perfect and that mistakes were made. Even though there was intense pain and loneliness He could still wash it all away. For me that was the symphony. For me that was the music that healed my soul and found me a restored human soul. For me that was worth more than a hollywood ending. I hope everyone has a spiritual August Rush.
I am still on that journey. Still trying to figure out what impact I can have on the world around me. Yet there is one thing I know for sure and that's no matter what, I have found my true Father, that has never and will never abandon me.

Dreams are great but Family is better.

Change is hard and it's tough especially in regards to dreams. No one probably knows this more than me whether it be self-prescribed change or ordained by God (I recommend the latter). The tough part about change is the fact that it destroys your personal comfort, it sometimes even recreates our inner dreams. It comes in like a whirlwind and picks you up and dumps you in Kansas with your friend Toto(wait other way around) and requests of you to thrive in these new circumstances. For a guy who loves new things change is still never easy and always shakes me to my core. Yet in the end the place I find the most joy is in change because even though it might bring pain and discomfort, it takes me to a whole new level; a whole new place within God that is filled with life and his goodness. A whole new place with others that creates a more healthy me.

I write this to remind myself it's okay to change. It's okay that the way you see a dream come to fruition is completely different then in the beginning. It's okay to reach beyond your comfort zone and go jump off a cliff. Much like what my brother in law Caleb says, "imagination makes you jump off a cliff sometimes." (or something like that). I whole heartedly recommend jumping off a cliff with others.

For the past several months, along with working two jobs and loving my family, I have been working on a project for the church. The idea is to begin to promote growth and life within the church through the use of both relational and purpose driven groups. Throughout this process I have been as giddy as a school kid on a playground. I love being creative and administrating that creativity. Most of all I love helping people. This has offered me both which has been very exciting but as with some things in life there is a catch twenty-two. Lately it's been difficult to relay that vision to the church. I figured to be another Smith Wiggelsworth, in that all I had to do was enter a room and everyone was filled with the glory of God and immediately jumped on board and started creating the vision God placed on my heart. I am finding, however that even though I see it as the shekinah(hope I spelled it right)glory of God, the ultimate vision of success, and the perfect solution for growth and life, not everyone else sees it that way. Not everyone else is as giddy as a school kid about my idea. Some are still in the change and don't necessarily see the same things I am seeing. So now the way I have envisioned the dream playing out is not necessarily how it is going to happen.

Most of my young adult life once jumping off the cliff, as in the situation above, I would continue falling until I hit the rocks on the bottom, ignoring the wings that God purposefully gave me to fly over those deadly rocks. I would shelter myself in one of those crevices in the rock and not come out again until I felt comfortable and safe or choose to just move to greener pastures. This time though it's different. It's different because family is important and people are important. Even though the steps are a bit wobbly and treacherous (insert National Treasure 1) the find at the end of the process is to important to dismiss. The find is more important than me or anyone else. This is what change does. It makes you think beyond yourself and begin to realize that you don't have all the answers. You can't do everything alone and that family is very important.

Family is so important that sometimes things change with the process of creating dreams. Plans change, people change, and dreams change. They change not because you necessarily hear the word of God but because it's important for family to be united. It's important that the family feels safe and secure. It's far more important that they build a relationship with God then to do the next awesome, creative thing you can come up with.

So I write this as a reminder to everyone who has big dreams that our dreams are never about ourselves or about what we can accomplish. The dreams are there for family and for everyone else, which means sometimes change in our dreams to incorporate others is a good thing if in the end it means you have a stronger, healthier family that is in a vibrant relationship with Christ.